Today marks 6 months of living in NYC. From the day my mom dropped me off at my cousin’s house after our 13 hour drive from Chicago until now, it’s been 182 days of New York City living. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. The past six months have been filled with so many tears, countless moments of confusion, sadness and feelings of complete loss. Has it been worth it? Absolutely.
The past six months have been some of the most transformatory (I realize this is not a word…but it should be 😉 ) months of my life. I have learned so much about myself and what I need to be happy and live a fulfilled life. I have also learned so much about what I will not stand for, what I will not accept and more importantly, what I do not deserve. I have learned how to love myself so much more than I have ever loved myself before.I moved here, to New York, very broken. In the beginning, there was not a day that went by that I did not breakdown and cry. After months of being here, there still was not a day that I did not breakdown and cry. But now, six months and counting, I can finally say I am on my road to a more peaceful place. I can finally say “I am okay,” and actually mean it. Do you know how powerful that feels? To have someone ask you how you are and be able to say, “I’m okay! You?” And actually mean it?
New York City did not take away my pain, but it gave me the opportunity to begin to heal. Trust me, it’s still stress city for me. I am still fighting sadness, although it is more fleeting now than ever before and I still hold my breathe every time my Mom or Dad calls me, but it’s different now. It’s less stress city than ever before. My heart is lighter for the first time in many months and I am okay. I am moving forward. Do I still think of the real reasons that brought me to New York? Every single day. But, does that stop me? Not one bit. I’m moving forward and I have never looked back.
So, cheers, cheers to all the balls, all the walls. Cheers to 6 months and counting in this beautiful new city I am beginning to call home.